hiiii ›

about

  1. general
  2. mental quirks
    1. mindblock
    2. self-strictness
    3. emotion issues
    4. arithmomania
    5. mimicry
    6. grinding
  3. interests
    1. programming
    2. sentence mixing
    3. language restrictions
    4. drawing?
  4. sensory cravings
    1. pressure
    2. squishiness
    3. cold water
    4. thigh-highs

various tidbits about the one and only, sorted by relevance in descending order

will eventually expand as well as maybe colorize

general

name: hecko

if that's not available then hecko_yes or similar

used to be Sobsz, and it's still the username for some of my accounts, but i'm changing it wherever possible because:

  • it's a pain to pronounce even for my fellow poles
  • lowercase good
  • it mayormaynot be derived from my legal name
pronouns: he/they/it/neoprns

i mostly don't care but i know she/her feels wrong and i like messing with language, hence neopronouns (though fae/faer feels a bit like she/her and either way a bit too mystical for me)

gender: male?

definitely not female, but other than that i'm not sure how much i care about my maleness i like calling myself "boy" sometimes, e.g. "guess i'm your delivery boy" i sometimes say "male/none, whichever you think is less unusual", based on an unfounded theory of mine that: many people who call themselves cis (including me) actually don't have much of a gender (or don't care much about it), so while just calling myself "genderless" would be more accurate it'd also cause me to be perceived by many as more unusual than i really am

age: 21

born april 5, 2003

sexuality: ace-ish

more specifically aegosexual, meaning i enjoy the idea of sexytimes but actually doing it is a no thanks

romanticity-wise i'm not sure but am taken

autism: yes

technically diagnosed as asperger's but yikes

see the mental quirks section

location: poland

and yet i managed to end up worse at polish than at english :)

languages: english, polish, toki pona

i call myself 2.5-lingual because toki pona is a game a little above pig latin

vaguely tried learning german, russian, esperanto, and spanish; gave up each time, guess my brain doesn't like language learning

mental quirks

mindblock

sometimes my brain decides it Can't do something and refuses to try, even when there are consequences to not doing it

extremely specific step-by-step instructions might help with that (especially with explanations as to why they are what they are), but people tend to be unwilling to provide such

though even then i'll probably think i'm doing it wrong oops

things i want to get into but haven't because of (at least) the above:

self-strictness

i sometimes give myself standards that i don't expect anyone else to follow (vaguely like postel's law)

or is it just that i'm a pushover

emotion issues

i don't think i feel much? at the very least i know i can feel:

arithmomania

or well not really mania, though it does happen often

counting the lines in a long post for example, scrolling by eights or tens

if i see something that has numbers i'll often add up the digits

when i do something directional (e.g. blink with my left eye) i might feel the need to balance it out using the thue-morse sequence (lrrl rllr rllr lrrl, repeat fractally)

for lines or short phrases i might try to fit them into a grid and take note of the non-space characters, e.g.:

  1. "this is odd" splits into this|.is.|odd. which has uneven space distribution so it's displeasing
  2. thus i'll add a space in front and get .thi|s.is|.odd, which is better but has spaces at the start and repeats the blank-char-char-char arrangement twice
  3. after some shuffling i might end up with "is this odd" which splits into is.t|his.|odd., that still has a repeat arrangement though so i'd prefer something like i.am|.mon|key. or a.co|ol.b|ird.

mimicry

i can and will quote memes verbatim, whether textually or verbally

and get mildly annoyed when someone else subtly misquotes them (don't worry y'all it's not actually wrong i'm just picky)

less verbatim·ly i sometimes say things not because i mean them but because they sound right (gpt moment)

grinding

for some reason i just like doing repetitive things with incremental progress, or at least the idea thereof!

examples include: distributed proofreading, mozilla common voice, digging out a chunk in minecraft

heck i'm the type of person to play nationstates purely for the training cards

interests

programming

not surprising given my autism

mostly small bespoke python scripts (i really like list comprehensions)

sentence mixing

a common part of youtube poops, and my personal favorite

iunno i just like the texture of chopped-up audio, and while ai voice cloning is cool (and i have done it) it just hits differently

even better when it's autotuned into a ytpmv

language restrictions

avoiding the letter e, speaking using only a hundred-something words,

drawing?

i don't think of myself as a creative type but my brain pushed me to learn to draw, or at least try to

as of writing the "learning" is just 30 minutes daily of the drawing game interference

outside of that i mostly like non-antialiased brushes because they're easy to erase cleanly (and vector art because that's infinite fiddleability)

sensory cravings

what my touch-starved ass thinks would bring it comfort

pressure

squeeze me, lay on me, bring some friends over, compress me into a zip file

mostly just lay on me though, especially if you're a large quadruped

apparently this is an autism thing, so much so they invented an autist squisher

though also when i was like 10 my family had a thing where we'd lay on each other and call it a sandwich, maybe that's what made me like it?

in imaginary scenarios it can and will get more extreme

an oddly persistent and specific fantasy is to be squeezed between a pair of buff 8-foot-tall werewolves (platonically), hugging each other super tightly

another is being physics-disregardingly compressed into tiny sizes, which uhhh:

links to image examples [weird and maybe nsfw, viewer beware]

squishiness

in contrast to fluffiness, which i do enjoy but am very picky about (plus i just tend to prefer this)

i just wanna smother my face in a big marshmallowy dragon belly (or huge squishy tail) is that weird (yes)

that or fidget with a toony anthro's pawpads or a pony's hoof

you'll notice most of my fursonæ have no hard bits anywhere (sometimes not even bones), this is why

i also tend to assume all drawn creatures are squishy unless there's evidence otherwise (and sometimes in spite of)

cold water

or just cold, or maybe just water

i wanna hug a vaporeon (and it better not have scales)

thigh-highs

never wore 'em, i just think they'd be comfy